I think you address some great points that I never really considered but I am definitely thinking about it now. It sounds like your next post should be on Twitter Etiquette (not just the popping in uninvited thing wherever you check in, but many other topics also like spamming and sending multiple nonsensical posts). I look forward to more of your thoughts on this, but especially on the Twitter stalker topic (Twitter Creeps?). Damn thats disturbing.

Jenn, your post and some Twitter stuff I’ve witnessed lately just reminds me of something we all need to remember: social is messy. Behind all this great technology is people, and a certain percentage of people out there have emotional problems, have boundary issues, are distraught over something, or are just socially inept. It’s not rude to politely but firmly reinforce your boundaries, or flat-out state, “You’re making me uncomfortable.” Or even call the cops! Maybe us girls need to post some “if you do this, that’s baaaaad” tips.(Though this doesn’t just apply to women.)

Hey JBruin, As you may know part of what I do is offer self protection lifestyle training and I’d be really interested in exploring this issue with you a bit more in depth. I think there is a need for solid advice on the subject.

I know your time is tight so if you have any further thoughts on the specific things that worry you or your friends at the moment, and how you manage that worry then I’d be very interested to hear them. Drop me an email or a DM or whatever suits best

Cheers,

James

@tonybalsamo here’s the thing, Twitter is like a family dinner/dining room table, maybe there used to be formal rules and etiquette, but just like the family dinner has transitioned from something formal to something casual over time, the people coming to the Twitter dinner table have different expectations around appropriate etiquette. I couldn’t possibly try and tell someone how they should and shouldn’t tweet, because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to follow my own guidelines, but also because Twitter has evolved to become so meaningful as a direct result of being so undefinable – it’s flexibility and purposes are directly correlated to it’s ambiguity, if that makes any sense.

@the_peg_is_in social is messy, we establish online relationships with real people and sometimes those relationships are unbalanced or undefined. A social relationship with a foundation offline is much different than a social relationship where the initial connection is made online. Both scenarios are problematic. People with offline relationships will inevitably experience the rise and fall of the relationship offline, and the better the good times or the worse the bad times, the more likely we are to broadcast what’s happening in our personal relationships, potentially damaging those relationships. On the other hand, people with online relationships can construct an idyllic idea of someone they “know” via cyberspace, in much the same way that those of us who are off balance develop unhealthy obsessions for people in the public eye. Essentially the same problematic situations that celebrities face are now issues for those of us with even minor celebrity online.

@James Marwood, I’m happy to chat anytime, especially in relation to self protection lifestyle training, which I’m assuming is more than learning a few kickboxing techniques. DM me anytime with your preferred chat method.

Wow Jenn. Great topic. I was walking my dog early this morning and had felt/thought the same thing after posting through utterz. People need to remember we are living in a world of transparency. And that world will always follow CREEPS…..

Ladies and gents, lets be safe – huh.

I think you have to be deliberately vague on locations etc for the reasons you mentioned, but there’s a flip side too that might not involve stalkers but other types of criminal.
If you post to the world that you are on holiday in the Maldives for the next two weeks and anyone works out where you live, you could be leaving the door open to house-breakers. There could be similar implications with identity theft, mail going missing etc when you are somewhere else.
I keep one profile on Twitter that is reasonably industry orientated and one on Facebook that is only seen by friends and family. I don’t know if it’ll make much difference but it’s a start anyway.

Vague is good. Brightkite, twitter, utterz, vimeo etc etc make stalking easy. If you weren’t going to tell some weirdo in a bar where you are going to be to his (/her) face , why would you do it online? @ the_peg_is_in stated that this applies to males and females but I think women need to be more careful then men online. Am I wrong? Is that sexist?

… Jenn,
We all know:
don’t say on Twitter etc. what you wouldn’t want folk to know
don’t say where you are if you don’t want folk to know

Now, I saw you were in the Highlands, I’d likely tweet you back and say hi. If you tweeted you were “meeting up” in my local pub, I’d probably *walk* down and say hi.

Why? Because you made your whereabouts available to all. Similarly, if you were meeting your date at a San Diego bar, I’d have been surprised if you tweeted the exact location.

[While about 20+ years older than you, it would have worried me if I found my date was telling the world where we were meeting... "My lord, everyone will know what a cheapskate I am..."]

If you don’t want “walk-up” contacts, don’t give out such clear details.

It’s less of an issue for grownups, but I despair of explaining the risk to kids in my familt…

Cyberstalking is a pretty big issue as is cyberbullying and how sexual predators are using social networking to find victims (29,000 identified on MySpace last year…yikes!). I have done some public speaking about this topic around my area and it amazes me that most people forget that we are living in a world where there are unfortunately “sick” people and by advertising your location to the entire world via social networking you “may” be giving the green light to some sicko. I tell people that it comes down to your personal risk assessment…some are more privacy paranoid then others while some want to tell the world everything they are doing every minute of the day…the problem is that bad things could happen to even the privacy paranoid! My advice..play it safe by being aware of your environment, if you Twitter about a location you are at make sure you have friends with you and you are not alone, and most of all if something just doesn’t feel right..it’s best to trust your gut feelings because your gut is probably right!

Hey Jenn,
It was great to meet you the other night at the blogger’s meetup group! I’m hoping to be able to make it to the Tweetup as well! Thanks for helping bring the SD blogger community together! We’ll be in touch and hopefully one of these days I can interview you for my blog!

-Katie (entrepreneurgoddess dot com)

My rule of thumb for social media is you got to take the good with the bad, everyone will eventually have a virtual stalker or just someone plain harassing them, look at what happened to Ariel Waldman and her twitter issue, or what happened Kathy Sierra?

I agree with @Steve Ellwood
don’t say on Twitter etc. what you wouldn’t want folk to know
don’t say where you are if you don’t want folk to know…

With that being said I have met some pretty interesting people via brightkite and other types of Social meet ups.

There’s always some story about people pushing the boundaries of “real life” and “online life.”

While most people know the difference, many don’t. You may want to be open with what you’re doing, but you have to be safe.

Some thoughts to ward off the weirdos:

Use an alias.
Lose the location tweets
Protect your tweets
Drop the followers at the first sign of creepiness.

For what it’s worth, I don’t tweet locations because I’m at home 99% of the time. My family and kids are first. If I’m out on the road by myself, different story.

Anyways, be aware and be safe everyone.

@ChrisNalty